Jack Rose by Konrath J. A

Author:Konrath, J. A. [Konrath, J. A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mystery, thriller, Crime, General Fiction
Amazon: B09RHM3525
Goodreads: 60303559
Publisher: Joe Konrath Books LTD
Published: 2023-01-28T08:00:00+00:00

JACK

I had a lovely idea.

It involved tracking down McGlade, and drinking the rest of his beers.

After spending half an hour trying to calm the masses, which involved getting them to pay more attention to exits, sticking with groups three or more, avoiding booze and drugs, and reminding them to have spatial awareness and to trust their guts, we participated in a makeshift lunch of the help-yourself sandwich variety, which replaced the formal lunch we were supposed to have but couldn’t because the main dining hall was still a mess.

They didn’t make enough sandwiches, and I only got a ramekin of canned banana pudding, two strawberries, and a dinner roll.

Then there was a concentrated effort to start the conference panels, which half the group voted for, while the other half hid in their rooms.

Harry and I went to a presentation called SERIAL KILLERS BETWEEN THE PAGES, featuring several writers. But the moderator, J.A. Kornhash, didn’t show up, and the three guests flubbed their way through the panel in a painfully amateur way.

Among the dumber things said by some self-published wannabe; “It doesn’t have to be realistic as long as it’s fun.”

As if books about maniacs should be entertaining. Who believed nonsense like that?

Afterward, Harry and I went to the bar, and were informed they weren’t serving alcohol because management wouldn’t allow it because of my warning. So we discussed going to McGlade’s room to have a few of his Three Floyds Zombie Dust IPAs.

But first I tried texting Phin, Sam, Herb, and my mother, and got no replies.

That was when I noticed Harry had ditched me.

Where U? I texted. I’d gone back to my room to wash my face and change my clothes, opting for Alo yoga pants, an old white tee, and a L’AGENCE black blazer.

Harry responded in short order: Zagnut Quest!!! I shall not be denied.

I sent him a stern face emoji and wrote: Don’t wander off solo.

He wrote back: U pay attention to your surroundings. U didn’t notice me leave.

A good point.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever had a Zagnut. But my stomach was rumbling, and the thought of any candy bar sounded good.

In fact, candy and beer might be exactly what I needed. I called him.

“Harry’s House of Love, you’ve reached Harry. Say yes to subscribe to our hourly dick pic service.”

“No,” I clearly said.

“You have consented to our hourly dick pic service, which isn’t actually hourly, it’s every thirty seconds. Our first pic is entitled Startled Snake in the Lettuce Patch. Please remember to share on social media.”

“Stop pretending you’re a recording,” I told him, watching a hotel employee carefully as she walked past me.

“Our next pic is entitled Surprised Mushroom Vomits Yogurt on a Pillow.”

“If I pretend to laugh will you stop these juvenile shenanigans?”

“Please give a like and thumbs-up to our next pic, Whoopie with Poopy. Also known as Downtown to Browntown.”

I faked a laugh, but that one was kind of funny, in a gross way.

“Wassup, Jackie? You couldn’t live without me for ten minutes?”

“Didn’t you hear my lecture about going places alone?”

“I heard most of it.

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